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In this current COVID-19 environment, we must have strong and powerful principles for navigating through the crisis.

What we are witnessing can be seen as panic when people begin to forget their fellow man, the community, and begin to hoard the supplies that we all need.  That is just one red flag that should spark the 5 principles below:

1. Do No Harm – this is a principle of restraint. Stay home for now, if you can, follow the governmental guidelines and those of your company as well. Keep safety in mind while not panicking and creating anxiety for yourself and others.
2. Make things Better – Rally together to address the unmet developing needs of those around you. Ask yourself, what am I doing to make things better for others during this crisis?  How might this turn out to be beneficial and make a positive difference in my world?  For example, I have had clients and friends be on the “lookout” for products for others in need.
3. Respect Others – With your co-workers, family, and friends, keep your promises, tell the truth and project confidentiality. Be kind.  Case in point:  Just this morning I was at a local grocery (looking for TP for the office) and as I was asking the cashier about delivery of TP the man behind me just interrupted giving his phone number to the cashier.  Not only was that rude, but completely unhelpful in this climate.  We can at least be kind and respectful of those around us.
4. Learn from it – What can be learned from this challenging time? What have you learned about yourself…about those around you?  What attitudes are you spotting?  Are you responding or reacting to the situation?  How can you be more prepared (emotionally) for the next challenge life throws at you?
5. Strengthen your Faith – Take a look at where you place your faith. For example, if it is in the stock market or your employment, just look at how quickly that can change. What can you have faith in that will strengthen your resolve and increase your resiliency?  What are you top 3 values and what is your plan to preserve them curing a crisis?

The bottom line in finding peace during a crisis or any challenging time is to know yourself.  What drives you, what are your strengths and from where –or whom- do you draw that strength?  To use a euphemism from one of my clients, where are you being a “non-grownup” and how will you, instead, lean into the situation with confidence, respect for others, do no harm, make things better and strengthening your faith?

Why is it so hard to apologize?  Why is it so hard to accept and acknowledge responsibility for our words or actions?  It takes an emotionally mature and stable person to do just that.  To admit wrong, stop blaming circumstances or others and just own our “stuff”.

Professor emeritus, Roy Lewicki, of Ohio State University’s Fisher College of Business writes that there are 6 components to a good apology:

• Expression of regret
• Explanation of what went wrong
• Acknowledgment of responsibility
• Declaration of repentance
• Offer of repair and
• Request for forgiveness

The more of them that you include, the better your odds of mending or preserving a relationship.

What most people are looking for in an apology is really two things; acknowledgement of responsibility and offer of repair.  The person who can sincerely offer these things is a person who can be trusted.  When people cannot admit wrong they show themselves to be emotionally stunted.  Though we are all broken or wounded in some way, being transparent in our woundedness draws others to us.  For sure, it takes courage to apologize but it augments solid, intimate, real friendships.

Lewicki reminds us that we are so used to hearing political doublespeak that too many words gets in the way of the message of the apology.  As an example, the phrase “I’m sorry if someone was offended by what I said/did” is empty of responsibility and shows neither empathy nor sincerity.

The moral?  As soon as you realize that you’ve hurt someone, apologize sincerely and quickly.  Don’t allow time for the offended party to stew about it making your apology and their ability to accept it less effective.  Clearly own what you did or said, show sincere remorse, ask for forgiveness and offer reparation.